The New FLAW
May 9, 2007
*Backstage with David R. Kett and the four semi-finalists of the FLAW Championship Tournament. David is holding a hat.*
David: First of all, let me congratulate you all on making it this far in the FLAW Championship Tournament. You should all be very proud of yourselves.
Terrance: OKAY!!
Happyheart: Yay!!! I am proud of myself!
Mr. Karate: It was expected.
Azul: Thanks, David.
David: Now, as you could probably guess, there will be two more one-on-one matches in the tournament, and there is a random drawing to find out who will be fighting who tonight. Now, I have a hat here, containing four pieces of paper. You will each come up, one by one, and take a piece of paper from the hat. Written on the paper is a number. This number will determine who fights who. The person with number 1 will fight the person with number 2 in tonight's fight, and the people who draw 3 and 4 will fight each other on Thursday. Are there any questions?
Terrance: OKAY!!
David: Yes, Mr. Beauregard. What's your question?
Terrance: Oh, sahree. Ah doan't haff one.
David: ...Alright then. Anyone else?
*Silence.*
David: Alright. You'll draw your numbers in alphabetical order, by last name. That means you're first, Mr. Beauregard.
Terrance: OKAY!! *draws a number* NUMBAH FOAH! OKAY!!
David: Miss Combo, you're next.
Azul: Okay. *draws a number* I got number 1.
David: Mr. Happyheart?
Happyheart: Wee! Drawing a number~! *draws a number* It's the number 3! Three is a magical number, dontcha know!
David: Alright! It'll be Captain Happyheart vs. Terrance Beauregard in Thursday's match! That means, Mr. Karate, that you're number 2 and will fight Azul Combo tonight.
Mr. Karate: Hmph. Fine by me.
Azul: *gulp* A-alright...
*Happyheart approaches Azul, putting his hands on her shoulders.*
Happyheart: Don't be afraid, Azul! I know he killed a guy, but that guy isn't dead anymore! Besides, you beat CATS; you'll be fine!
Azul: Uh...Th-thanks, Happyheart.
*Azul looks over at Mr. Karate, who makes a throat-cutting motion with his thumb. Azul gulps nervously.*
David: I hate to break this up, but we've got a schedule to go by, and these matches have to get going. So, Mr. Karate, Miss Combo, please proceed to the entrance.
*Azul and Mr. Karate both walk off-screen. Happyheart looks over at Terrance.*
Terrance: ...OKAY!
Happyheart: ^_^
*The view switches to Joe and Dan.*
Joe: Well, there you have it! Azul Combo is fighting Mr. Karate! The winner of this match will battle the winner of Terrance Beauregard vs. Captain Happyheart on Friday to determine the new FLAW Champion!
Dan: I wish I was in the running, but this damn leg...!
Joe: We like you just where you are, Dan. Oh, looks like the match is starting!
Ring Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a round 3 match in the FLAW Championship Tournament!
*Azul's theme song, "Hummingbird" by Seals and Crofts, plays as Azul makes her way down the aisle, nervous but determined.*
Ring Announcer: Making her way to the ring... from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 115 pounds... the Blue Hummingbird of the South, AZUL COMBO!
Dan: Man, I love a chick who can kick CATS's ass!
Joe: Calm down, boy. She's interested in Happyheart, remember?
Dan: Yeah, well I was just sayin'.
*Azul climbs into the ring and gets into her corner, anxiously awaiting her opponent. Then, "Hardcore Motherfucker" by Ultraviolence plays as Mr. Karate walks down the aisle in fierce, determined strides.*
Ring Announcer: And her opponent... from Southtown, USA, weighing in at 193 pounds... MISTER KARATE!
Dan: THAT'S MY DADDY! YAAAAAAY!
Joe: He broke your leg.
Dan: ...BOOOOOOO!
*Mr. Karate climbs into the ring and casts a determined, yet relaxed glare at Azul. The Referee signals for the bell.*
Dan: THIS! HERE! MATCH! BE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
Joe: Mr. Karate glares at Azul with those fierce, intimidating eyes of his! Azul looks unnerved! Azul decides to make the first strike! She bounces off the ropes, and immediately goes for the Whirlybird Kick! But Mr. Karate grabs her leg right out of the air!!
Dan: AN INCREDIBLE THROW!
Joe: What the...? ...Anyway, Mr. Karate has countered the Whirlybird Kick, forcing Azul to the ground! With amazing speed, he spins around and sits on Azul's thigh! He starts pulling up on that ankle of hers, trying to break her leg at the knee!!
Dan: I can't watch! I HATE THIS MOVE!!
Joe: This is a smart strategy on Mr. Karate's part! Since Azul is known to have weak, hollow bones, Mr. Karate is immediately trying to break them! Wait! Azul is tapping! AZUL IS TAPPING!
*The bell rings, and Mr. Karate lets go of the hold. He then kicks Azul so hard that she rolls out of the ring, landing hard on the floor outside, unconscious.*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner by submission... MISTER KARATE!
Joe: That was the shortest match of the tournament thus far! Mr. Karate was able to get into Azul's head and make her lose her focus, causing her to go for her finishing move way too early! Mr. Karate, being a skilled martial artist, was able to capitalize on the situation, trapping Azul in his incredibly dangerous submission maneuver, forcing her to tap out! What a fearsome man he is!
Dan: Is it over yet?
Joe: Yes, it's over. Although Mr. Karate did not snap her leg in half like he did to some of his previous victims, Mr. Karate has shown that he is a greatly skilled, yet extremely brutal wrestler, and that letting your guard down for even one second can allow him to capitalize and score a win!
Dan: You don't have to tell ME. I can tell you first hand that that is true! And also that Daddy's a MEANIE!
Joe: Mr. Karate moves on to the championship match on Friday! Who will he go up against? Will it be former Gold Champion, Captain Happyheart, or street fighting veteran, Terrance Beauregard? Tune in tomorrow, Thursday, to find out! We'll see you then!