Last time, on Hawk 'n Croc's Big Honkin' Battles...

Hawk 'n Croc found out from Fire Raven that the Leonardo All-Star Martial Arts Tournament is coming soon. But, like usual, they don't pay attention to a word Fire Raven says, causing her to get frustrated and leave.

Later, they see a commercial for the same martial arts tournament, and since TV is pretty much the only thing that can capture their attention for extended periods of time, they finally find out about the tournament. They both decide to enter, in the hope of getting babes and free pizza.

One week later....Hawk 'n Croc arrive at the Leonardo Stadium. They walk in to see tons of martial artists gathered around. There are also several

Hawk: Dude, I didn't know that there were so many fighters in this city. But I'm sure we can kick all their asses! WHOO!!
Croc: Well, I hope so.
Hawk: Hey, do you know when the asskicking starts?
Croc: In about half an hour, I think. Today, the preliminaries are being held. About 100 fighters will fight each other in an elimination-style tournament, until only eight fighters remain. These eight fighters will fight each other tomorrow in front of a live audience to decide who will be the martial arts champion.
Hawk: That sounds like it was ripped off from the tournament saga in Dragon Ball.
Croc: Yeah, well Brandon A. Mayo was too lazy to make up a new format for a martial arts tournament, so he used a format that he knew worked.
Hawk: Brandon who?
Croc: Brandon A. Mayo. The author of this story.
Hawk: ....author?
Croc: ...Nevermind.

Just then, Hawk 'n Croc were approached by a familiar face.

Jacky: Hey, Hawk!
Hawk: Dude! You're competing, too?
Jacky: You bet! I'm gonna be asskicking my way to victory!
Hawk: Awesome!
Croc: You're Jacky Nightblade, right? Hawk talks about you a lot.
Jacky: Yep, that's me. You must be his roommate, Croc.
Hawk: Dude, I hope all three of us make it to the quarterfinals, so we can all show off in front of all the babes out there!
Jacky: Of course!
???: Well, well, well. I didn't expect you three to be competing.

Hawk, Croc, and Jacky all look in the direction of the guy talking.

Gila: If it isn't the pizza delivery boy, the video rental guy, and the guy at the arcade. Obviously, you three are trying to come up with some conspiracy to keep me from winning this tournament.
Hawk: Um, actually...
Gila: However, none of you will be able to thwart me, this time. ::pulls out his katana:: Weapons are allowed in this tournament. Because of this, all three of you will have no choice but to fall to my amazing kenjutsu abilities. This time, I shall succeed! And none of you can do anything about it! HAHAHA!!! ::runs away::
Hawk: ...Who was that guy?
Jacky: ::shrugs:: I dunno.
Croc: ::shrugs:: Me neither.
Tournament Announcer Guy: Fighting shall begin in ten minutes. Please report to your fighting rings.
Jacky: Well, I'll be seeing you guys later. ::walks off to the area where he will be fighting::
Hawk: Catch ya later, dude!
Croc: Bye!
Hawk: Well, you know what it's time to do.
Croc: Right!
Hawk 'n Croc: LET'S DO IT! ::strike dramatic poses:: SUPERPOWERS COMBINE, MUTHAFUGGA!!!!

At the shouting of that phrase, something dramatic occurs. Extremely dramatic. Hawk 'n Croc transform into their superhero alter-egos in a sequence that uses basically every special effect every created: fireworks, lens flares, laser lights, strobe lights, various types of explosions, fire and electricity streaking across the background, fast-moving colors, dramatic camera angles, extreme close-ups, Matrix-style slow motion effects, you name it.

Hawk: Yes! Now we can go to our rings!
Croc: Right on! See ya!

Hawk 'n Croc walk off to the areas where they will be fighting. While they walk, they hear an announcement from the announcer.

Tournament Announcer Guy: I'm sorry to announce that the number of competitors will be cut in half. About half the fighters in the tournament will be unable to compete, thanks to seizures induced by brightly flashing lights and various other special effects.
Hawk 'n Croc: Eh, their loss.

Hawk 'n Croc manage to reach their rings right in time for the fighting to begin.

Tournament Announcer Guy: Now, the fighting shall begin. You all know the rules. You may use any type of attack you wish, as long as it doesn't kill the opponent. Are you ready? FIGHT!!!

Everyone knows that the preliminaries are usually boring, due to the length and the overabundance of crappy fighters. Because of this, I'm just going to give a quick summary of the preliminaries, so we can skip to the good stuff. Hawk 'n Croc both manage to somehow blunder their way through every opponent in the preliminaries. Most of their fights are won by accident. Jacky also managed to make it to the final eight, using his mighty mighty kickboxing skills and his ability to woo all the female opponents. Gila, too, manages to defeat all the opposition, thanks to his amazing kenjutsu skills and extreme hatred for all of humanity.

Tournament Announcer Guy: And now, the preliminaries are over! These final eight competitors shall face off tomorrow in front of a live audience to determine who is the ultimate martial artist in Leonardo!
Hawk: Dude, I made it to the final eight!
Croc: Me too! This rocks!
Jacky: Guys! I made it to the final eight, as well!
Hawk 'n Croc: AWESOME!!!
Tournament Announcer Guy: Today's fighting is over. I request that the final eight of you return tomorrow, so we can begin the quarterfinals!
Jacky: Well, I'm going home. I'll see both of you tomorrow!
Hawk: Alright. Peace out!
Croc: See ya!
Hawk: Well, let's go home, too.
Croc: Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.

And so, Hawk 'n Croc get in their car and drive back home.

How will Hawk 'n Croc fare in the quarterfinals? Who else made it to the final eight? Who will end up fighting who? Find out in the next episode of...

Hawk 'n Croc's Big Honkin' Battles!