One day, at Hawk 'n Croc's house....

Hawk 'n Croc are sitting in their living room, watching TV, bored out of their minds. Like usual.

Croc: Aw shit, the fricking Newlywed Game is on? I want my Russian Roulette, dammit!
Hawk: Dude. Aren't you tired of Russian Roulette? That's all we watch anymore, lately.
Croc: Hey, it's better than those reality shows that the networks keep cranking out.
Hawk: Yeah, I guess... I dunno. I just want to watch something else for once. TV's crap lately.

Just then, someone knocks at the door! Gasp!

Hawk: Finally! An excuse not to watch game shows. ::stands up and walks to the front door::
Croc: Your loss, buddy!
Hawk: Yeah, whatever.

Hawk proceeds to open the front door. Lo and behold, it's Fire Raven! At Hawk 'n Croc's very own doorstep!

Hawk: Lo and behold, it's Fire Raven! At our very own doorstep!
Fire Raven: ...Didn't the narrator just say that?
Hawk: ...What narrator?
Fire Raven: ....Nevermind.
Hawk: 'Kay.
Fire Raven: Anyway, I'm here to tell you and Croc something important. Could you go get him?
Hawk: Sure, babe. Just a sec. ::shouts to Croc:: HEY DUDE! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! IT'S FIRE RAVEN!
Croc: Aww, but the special AOF Adventures edition of Press Your Luck is on!
Hawk: Dude, you already know that Mr. Karate wins! Get your ass in here!
Croc: Oh, fine! ::comes to Hawk and Raven:: So, whaddya want?
Fire Raven: You two have progressed quite well in your training. As you know, training is important in developing a keen ability to-
Hawk: Cut to the chase, babe! What do you want?
Fire Raven: *sigh* Anyway, the Leonardo All-Star Martial Arts Tournament is coming up in a week.
Hawk: Lime!
Croc: Sweet!
Hawk: Limes aren't sweet, dude. They're sour.
Croc: Yes, but limeade is sweet. So I'm partly right.
Hawk: Yeah, but I didn't say limeade! I said...
Fire Raven: SHUT UP!!!!!!
Hawk: .....
Croc: .....
Hawk: .....
Croc: .....
Fire Raven: ....As I was saying...I want the two of you to enter the tournament, in order to improve your skills, and test them against other competitors. I, too, shall be entering the tournament, so I can test your skills myself, should we face each other in the arena. I recommend that the two of you begin training as hard as you can, so you can be at your peak performance for the tournament, which will be viewed by thousands of people across the city.
Croc: ...I STILL say that limes are sweet.
Hawk: Dude, limes are totally NOT sweet at all! You just don't want to be wrong!
Croc: Shut the fuck up! I'm right, and you KNOW it!
Hawk: Are not!
Croc: Am too!
Hawk: Are not!
Croc: Am too!
Fire Raven: Forget it! Just forget it! I don't give a crap if you enter the tournament or not. You're both hopeless! You'll never become worthwhile superheroes! I should have just given up on you a long time ago, because it's obvious that you'll never become more than idiotic slackers with no ambitions or prospects for the future!
Hawk: You know it, baby!
Fire Raven: Argh! I'm leaving! You can both go screw yourselves. ::leaves, and slams the door behind her::
Croc: 'Bout time she left! Now we can go back to accomplishing nothing.
Hawk: Right on, dude.

About an hour later, while Hawk 'n Croc are watching TV...

Croc: Hey, there's a commercial for some sort of martial arts thingy!
Hawk: Cool! Let me see.
Commercial on TV: Do you have martial arts talent? Do you want to show thousands of people across the city how great your skills truly are? Do you want a chance to win free pizza for life, and have ladies everywhere flock to you, due to your amazing strength and irresistibility?
Hawk 'n Croc: DO WE EVER!
Commercial on TV: If so, apply for the Leonardo All-Star Martial Arts Tournament, down at the Leonardo Stadium! See if you can prove yourself to be the best fighter in the city!
Croc: Sounds like fun. You want to do it?
Hawk: Sure. It's not like we have anything else to do.
Croc: Cool, let's do it, then.

Of course, there will be many strong fighters other than Hawk, Croc, and Fire Raven competing. Can our heroes prove to be the best fighters in Leonardo? Or will they just fuck up, as usual? Also, what other amazing fighters will be waiting for them at the tournament? Find out, in part 2 of...

Hawk 'n Croc's Big Honkin' Battles!