Monday Night FLAW
February 12, 2007
By Brandon A. Mayo
(Prerecorded)
*Backstage. Captain Happyheart is walking toward the ring entrance, when he's stopped by CATS. CATS stares into Happyheart's eyes for a few seconds. The audience cheers.*
CATS: Well, well, well, if it isn't Captain Happyheart. Great job last week against Mr. Karate! Bravo! *claps*
Happyheart: Hey, what's up, CATS?
CATS: Listen, boy. I know that you haven't chosen an opponent yet for Thursday's show, and I just wanted you to know that I, above all others, deserve a shot at your title! You and I both know that you got lucky when you beat me to win that belt! I want another shot at what's rightfully mine, and I will not take no for an answer!
Happyheart: No.
*Audience cheers.*
CATS: What do you mean, "no?" Do you not realize who I am? I am CATS, intergalactic warlord and belonger of all your base! That Gold Championship is mine, and I will not be denied!
Happyheart: CATS, you've done nothing but lose matches since your debut here at FLAW. Until you can get some wins under your belt, I'll save the title shots for people who deserve them! Okie dokie?
CATS: Grr...
Happyheart: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a show to commentate! See ya, buddy! ^_^
*Happyheart walks away from CATS*
CATS: How dare you do this to me! I'll show you. I'll be the Gold Champion before long! You'll see...
*The view switches back to ringside, and Captain Happyheart's music kicks in. Captain Happyheart waves to all his fans as he skips down the aisle.*
Ring Announcer: Presenting tonight's guest commentator: From Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, he is the current FLAW Gold Champion... CAPTAIN HAPPYHEART!
*The audience cheers as Happyheart skips down and takes a seat next to Joe Higashi at the commentator's table.*
Joe: Welcome to Monday Night FLAW! As you see, tonight's guest commentator is the FLAW Gold Champion, Captain Happyheart! Say hello to all the nice people, Captain!
Happyheart: Helloooo, everybody!
Joe: In just a moment, our first match is going to start! As you probably know, there has been tension between CATS and Dan Hibiki in these past couple of weeks. Last week on Monday Night FLAW, Dan Hibiki let his hatred of CATS reach the boiling point, and his insults and distractions caused CATS to lose a number 1 contender's match for the FLAW Silver Championship. Now CATS wants revenge, and he has requested a grudge match tonight to settle the score! What's your opinion of this match, Happyheart?
Happyheart: Well, both of these guys are on major losing streaks! CATS has fought in three matches in FLAW and has lost them all! Dan Hibiki has only fought one match, but he lost that one too, and his string of losses in Street Fighter tournaments is legendary!
Joe: Seems like hell would freeze over if either of these guys won! And yet, that's what will have to happen tonight! Who do you think will win, Captain?
Happyheart: Well, Mr. Joe person, I know I spoke badly about CATS earlier, but he really is a cunning fighter! He and I were the last two fighters in the battle royal a couple of weeks ago, and that really says something about him! Dan Hibiki is a loveable loser, and I really like the guy, but he's not the sharpest cheese in the drawer! I'm giving this one to CATS!
Joe: I'll go for my friend Dan. I've fought alongside him many times, and I think he just might surprise you! Besides, CATS is a bastard.
Happyheart: Agreed!
Joe: Looks like this match is about to start!
Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall!
*CATS's music plays as he walks down the entrance. Everyone in the arena boos.*
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring: from the deepest reaches of space, standing at 6'3" and weighing in at 246 pounds, CATS!
*CATS gets into the ring. Dan Hibiki's music starts, and he runs out as some of the audience cheers, while most of them just sit there.*
Ring Announcer: And his opponent: from Hong Kong, standing at 5'9" and weighing in at 163 pounds, DAN HIBIKI!
*Dan rolls into the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, and flashes a big grin at the audience while posing. He then tries to climb back down, but falls on his butt. Then, he gets up and looks at CATS. The bell rings.*
Joe: CATS and Hibiki sizing each other up, now! Hibiki doesn't take long to react, as he launches a rising knee kick at CATS! But CATS just slaps it away with little effort! I think Hibiki was going for his Gale Kick there, but CATS was able to counter! Hibiki leaps back up on his feet, and tries another Gale Kick! CATS dodges and levels Hibiki with a big clothesline!
Happyheart: That must have been painful!
Joe: CATS now stomping away at Hibiki! Hibiki just lies there and takes the abuse! Why isn't he getting up?!
Happyheart: It looks like Dan was stunned by that clothesline, Joey!
Joe: What? Impossible! Dan Hibiki is too strong to be stunned by a mere clothesline!
Happyheart: If you say so, Joey! ^_^
Joe: CATS has stopped stomping Hibiki! CATS is going to the top turnbuckle! Looks like he's going for his flying elbow drop! He is! CATS flies through the air and connects with the elbow drop! Hibiki is writhing in pain! CATS signals for the end! This can't be! It can't end this quickly!
Happyheart: I feel sorry for Danny! I really admire his fighting spirit and his cheerful attitude! Reminds me of someone else I know! I can't put my finger on it, though...
Joe: CATS picks Hibiki up and gets him in that headlock! He's going for the Way to Destruction! CATS leaps to the ropes, bounces off... and HE HITS IT! CATS HITS THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION! This can't be! But wait! CATS isn't covering Hibiki! He's coming to the outside of the ring! He's coming over to us, Captain!
Happyheart: Howdy, Catsie! What's up?
*CATS snatches an extra headset off the desk and puts it on.*
CATS: Happyheart, did you not just see how I decimated that fool? I deserve the title shot this week more than any other wrestler on the roster! I demand you give me what I deserve!
Happyheart: Wow, you beat up Dan Hibiki! That is such a WONDERFUL accomplishment!
CATS: Shut the hell up! I'm going to get that title by the time this week is over! I guarantee it! ALL YOUR BELT ARE BELONG TO ME! HA HA HA HA...
*While CATS and Happyheart continue arguing, Dan recovers and rolls out of the ring. He goes over and grabs the ring bell, then sneaks up behind CATS.*
CATS: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR-
*CATS's ranting is interrupted when Dan clocks him upside the head with the ring bell. CATS passes out.*
Joe: Thank God someone finally shut him up! Hibiki picks CATS up and throws him back into the ring! Hibiki is going to the top turnbuckle! He raises his fist! It looks like he's going for one of his leaping taunts! He is! Hibiki soars through the air!
Dan: YAHOOIE!
Joe: But wait! Hibiki converts his leaping taunt into an ELBOW DROP! Hibiki drives that taunting elbow into CATS's sternum! He covers! One! Two! Three! DAN HIBIKI WINS! DAN HIBIKI WINS!
*Bell rings.*
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner: DAN HIBIKI!
Dan: OYAJI!!! I DID IT!!!
Joe: Dan's losing streak is over! Dan Hibiki has won his match against CATS here tonight, and I couldn't be more thrilled for him! But wait! CATS has recovered! He's staring right at you, Happyheart!
Happyheart: I wonder why?
CATS: YOU!!! YOU COST ME MY VICTORY!!!
*CATS comes out and tackles Happyheart to the ground. He starts pummeling Happyheart with furious punches.*
Joe: Oh my God! Somebody, get over here! This is out of control!
*Officials rush over and grab CATS, dragging him to the back. CATS continues kicking and screaming as he's dragged to the back.*
CATS: I'LL GET YOU, CAPTAIN HAPPYHEART! I SWEAR IT!
Happyheart: Gee! I wonder what I did!
Joe: Happyheart! Your mouth is bleeding!
Happyheart: So it is! Hee hee! That crazy CATS!
Joe: Well, it's time for our intermission. When we get back, we'll have a big announcement, and a Silver Championship defense as Mars People defends his title against Robodile! See you soon!
INTERMISSION
Joe: Welcome back to Monday Night FLAW! As you may remember, I said that we had a big announcement to make!
Happyheart: I remember, Mr. Joe! I remember!
Joe: That's good, Captain. Anyway, a very legendary fighter will be coming soon to FLAW! He was a world martial arts champion back in the early 90s. Since then, he had retired to start his own pizza business, but he's anxious to get back into the thick of things, and he has chosen FLAW as the place to make his comeback! He is none other than the Hungry Wolf himself, the great Terrance Beauregard!
Happyheart: How exciting!
Joe: Tune in to future episodes of FLAW, where we will provide you with more details of when this great fighter will make his debut!
Happyheart: It'll be fun for the whole family!
Joe: And now, we've got David R. Kett backstage with the competitors of the next fight! David?
Kett: Yes, I'm back here with the FLAW Silver Champion, Mars People, and his manager, Fio Germi. Mars People, you know what I'm going to ask you. Are you going to hold onto the Silver Championship tonight, or will you forfeit it for a shot at the Gold?
Mars People: *makes strange alien noises*
Fio: "I'm going to keep the Silver Championship. I want to be an example for all future Silver Champions, and the more victories I can get, the more prestigious this title will become."
Kett: Very well. Do you have any strategies for taking on Robodile tonight?
Mars People: *noises*
Fio: "I don't know how well my submission techniques will work on a machine. I guess I'll just see how it works out."
Kett: Thank you, Mars People and Fio. Now, Robodile...
Robodile: ‘Sup, D?
Kett: This will be your first shot at the Silver Championship. How do you feel?
Robodile: Dog, I'm psyched that I've got a chance to get that belt, especially since it will be in front of all my homeboys here in Puerto Lagarto, Florida!
*Audience cheers.*
Kett: How do you feel about the champion, Mars People?
Robodile: I got nothing against the champ, dude. I think he's cool and all, but I'm gonna do everything in my power to bring the Silver Championship home!
Kett: Okay, thank you, Robodile. Back to you, Joe.
Joe: Alright, this battle is about to start!
Happyheart: Wee! Happiness!
Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the FLAW Silver Championship!
*Mars People's music starts, and he and Fio make their way down the aisle as some people in the audience cheer.*
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring... from the planet Mars, standing at 5'3" and weighing in at 94 pounds, he is the FLAW Silver Champion... MARS PEOPLE!
Joe: Mars People has gotten some impressive victories so far during his Silver Championship reign, but he might be up against more than he can chew with Robodile. Will he somehow pull out another victory tonight?
Happyheart: Maybe, baby!
*Mars People rolls into the ring and stretches in his corner. Robodile's music kicks in, and Robodile comes down the aisle to a thunderous ovation.*
Ring Announcer: And his opponent... from Puerto Lagarto, Florida, standing at 6'5" and weighing in at 800 pounds... ROBODILE!
Happyheart: Yay! It's my buddy Robodile!
Joe: He's your partner, so you'll probably be rooting for him, right, Captain? Or will you not let that affect your decision of who you think will win?
Happyheart: Yes, I will! Do you think I'm unbiased? How silly!
*Robodile gets in the ring and dances a bit for his fans. He then gets into his corner. The bell rings.*
Joe: Robodile and Mars People staring each other down at the start of this match up! Mars People makes the first move, striking Robodile with stinging tentacle slaps! No reaction from Robodile! Robodile levels Mars People with a big backhanded chop!
Audience: WOOOOOOOO!
Joe: Mars People is stunned! Robodile pushes Mars People into the corner! Robodile goes for another chop, but Mars People catches his arm with a tentacle! Mars People spins out of the corner and pushes Robodile in it! Mars People now with head butts to Robodile's midsection! He's trying to weaken Robodile with those head butts! Mars People finds an opening and drapes Robodile's arms over the top rope! Mars People climbs over Robodile and hangs upside down behind him, while pulling on his legs in a rope-hung Boston crab!
Happyheart: Hey, that's what Tajiri does!
Joe: Right! Mars People calls it the Galachnid! Mars People must not be going for the submission just yet, opting to wear him down instead!
Happyheart: But Joe, isn't this a submission move? And aren't there also no DQs in FLAW matches?
Joe: While it's true that you can't get disqualified in FLAW matches, you cannot obtain a submission victory while one of the wrestlers has hold of the ropes! On the other hand, since there is no disqualification, there is no five-count to let go of the hold, and Mars People can do this move as long as he wants!
Happyheart: I gotcha! Thank you for clarifying the rules, Mr. Joey Higashi!
Joe: No problem, Captain. Mars People continues to wrench on Robodile's legs, but Robodile seems to have regained his sense! He's hammering Mars People in the head with elbows! Mars People's grip is weakening! He drops Robodile to the mat, and falls to the apron! Robodile scrambles back to his feet, and grabs Mars People by the tentacles! He whips Mars People over the ropes and slams him to the mat! Robodile tries to stomp on Mars People, but Mars People snags his leg!
Happyheart: Grabby lil' guy, that M.P.!
Joe: Mars People yanks Robodile to the ground face first, leaps onto his back, and applies a Boston crab! Sparks are starting to fly from his hip joints! How much more of this can Robodile take? But wait! Robodile grabs a stray tentacle and rips Mars People off of himself! He has hold of Mars People now, and he's managing to get up! Robodile Irish whips Mars People into the corner! Robodile now signaling for the spear! And there he goes, charging straight at Mars People! But wait! Mars People dodges out of the way, and Robodile spears himself right into the ring post!
Happyheart: I thought Robodile had M.P. for sure!
Joe: Mars People takes the opportunity to wrap his tentacles around Robodile's waist! Mars People falls backwards to the mat and holds Robodile in the air above himself! He's taking four more of his tentacles and pulling back on Robodile's arms and legs in a surfboard variation! I've heard that he calls this the Silver Surfboard! Sparks are again flying from Robodile's hip joints! You can really hear those joints grinding and creaking as Mars People works on them! Oh God! It sounds like his hip joints have snapped!
Happyheart: WHOAMGWTF!
Joe: But wait! Robodile is trying to fight back! He's trying to muscle his way out of the tentacle hold! And it seems to be working! He's straining his arms as hard as he can, and Mars People is struggling to maintain his hold!
Happyheart: Come on, Robodile! Win the Silver for your Super-Uber buddies!
Joe: Mars People can't hold it any longer! He releases Robodile! Looks like Robodile might have a chance here!
Happyheart: YAY ROBO :3
Joe: But wait! Robodile is struggling to get back on his feet! It seems like he was weakened tremendously by that Silver Surfboard hold! He's trying to get back on his feet, but sparks are flying from his hip joints like mad! It's taking all his energy just to stand up!
Happyheart: Use the boost to get through!
Joe: Robodile manages to get back on his feet, finally! But he seems unsteady! He takes a step, and falls back to the ground! It's as if his legs can no longer support his weight! Robodile struggling again to get back on his feet! Robodile stands up, and again he falls back down! Robodile is motioning to The Referee! Robodile is talking to The Referee about something! We can't hear what they're saying from here! Now, The Referee is signaling for the bell! Is this match over?!
*The bell rings, and The Referee says something to the ring announcer.*
Ring Announcer: Robodile has told The Referee that due to the extensive damage done to his legs, he is unable to continue fighting! As a result, the winner of this match, and STILL the FLAW Silver Champion... MARS PEOPLE!
Happyheart: Looks like I am no good at predicting match outcomes tonight! Tee hee!
Joe: By wearing down Robodile's leg joints, Mars People was able to make Robodile unable to keep fighting, and as a result, was able to once again retain his Silver Championship! A great winning effort by Mars People, but you can't help but wonder how disappointed Robodile must be!
Happyheart: Aw, don't be sad, Robo! You did really good out there!
Joe: Well, thank you for joining us tonight on Monday Night FLAW! Tune in again on Thursday, as HNC-9000 battle the Ice Climbers for the right to fight for the Tag Team Championship, and Captain Happyheart defends his FLAW Gold Championship! Have you chosen your opponent yet, Captain?
Happyheart: You'll have to wait and see!
Joe: Can't wait! See you next time, on Thursday Night FLAW!
FLAW News
Matches Confirmed for Next Week's Monday Night FLAW
February 13, 2007
The FLAW Committee has decided that, due to Dan Hibiki's impressive victory over CATS last night, he will get a number 1 contender's match for the FLAW Silver Championship on February 19's edition of Monday Night FLAW. He is scheduled to fight Mr. Karate, with the winner getting a shot at the Silver Championship the following week.
In addition, Mars People will have to defend his FLAW Silver Championship against both of his previous opponents: Don Combo, and Robodile. Because of the impressive performances both of them put on in their previous title shots, they will both get another shot at the title in a Triple Threat match.
In summary, the matches scheduled for next week's Monday Night FLAW are:
Number 1 Contender's Match for the FLAW Silver Championship
Dan Hibiki vs. Mr. Karate
Triple Threat Match for the FLAW Silver Championship
Mars People (c) vs. Don Combo vs. Robodile