Last time, on Captain Falcon Adventures, the Blue Falcon was stupidly blown up by Slippy Toad, one of the members of the Starfox mercenary team. Captain Falcon and his partner Captain Kirby were blown in different directions, and Peppy Hare, another member of Starfox, went off to search for them. We now join our hero as he flies through space, towards a strange planet...

C. Falcon: Waaaaaaaaah!!!!!

He enters the atmosphere of the planet, and is pulled down toward the surface by gravity. The incredible speed at which he falls toward the planet's surface causes him to combust into flames.

C. Falcon: AAAAAAAH!!!!!! IT BURNS!!! OH HOW IT BURNS!!!!! ::slams into a large snowbank:: Uuuh!!

Captain Falcon, lying in the snowbank with smoke rising from his scorched body, eventually manages to stand up, despite his incredible fall.

C. Falcon: Ngh! ::brushes snow off his body:: Where the heck am I, anyway?

He looks around, and sees that he's at the foot of a large, snow-covered mountain.

C. Falcon: ::scratches his chin:: It appears that I'm at the foot of a large, snow-covered mountain....Hm. There's no living beings in sight! Maybe I could get a better view on top of the mountain.

And so, our hero begins to climb the mountain. After climbing for what seemed to be about 25 seconds, he loses his footing.

C. Falcon: Aaaah CRUUUUUD!!! ::falls down the mountain, hitting a bunch of sharp rocks on the way down:: Ah! Oof! Ouchie! Gnah! Wuuh! ::lands back into the snowbank:: owie........
???: Oh my gosh! Are you alright?
C. Falcon: huh?

Captain Falcon looks up to see the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, standing about three feet tall and wearing a fuzzy pink parka. She was holding a large brown mallet in her mittened hands, and she looked very cheerful and happy. Captain Falcon was immediately dumbstruck by her beauty.

Girl in Pink Parka: I said, are you alright?
C. Falcon: I...uh......err......duh.....yeah.....i guess....
G.i.P.P.: Ice climbing is very dangerous. You should leave it to the professionals, like me!
C. Falcon: You're....an ice climber?
G.i.P.P.: ::nods:: Climbing icy mountains in search of vegetables. That's my job!....Hm, I don't believe I've seen you in these parts before. What's your name?
C. Falcon: I'm....CAPTAIN FALCON!!!! ::flexes::
G.i.P.P.: ::giggles:: Nice to meet you. My name is Nana.
C. Falcon: ....Hi.
Nana: ....Hi.
C. Falcon: I never knew such a beautiful creature such as yourself could be an ice climber.
Nana: ::giggles:: You're kinda cute.
C. Falcon: ::blushes:: heh heh....So, would you, um....like to go out with me?
Nana: ....Sure. ::smiles::
???: HEY!!! That's MY BITCH!!!

Another three-foot-tall person that looks very similar to Nana comes running angrily toward Captain Falcon. Like Nana, he too wore a parka and carried a large brown mallet.

Nana: I'm not your "bitch", Popo!
Popo: Shut up! You're coming with me! ::grabs Nana and ties her up in a giant rubber band::
C. Falcon: HEY!!! Don't be mean to Nana! She deserves better!
Popo: Fuck off, Captain Chicken!

Popo then raises his hand at Captain Falcon, and shoots a gust of freezing air at Captain Falcon, freezing him in a solid chunk of ice. Popo then slings Nana over his shoulder, and climbs to the top of the mountain, with Nana shouting for Captain Falcon all the way. Captain Falcon, frozen in ice, was forced to watch as Popo took Nana to the top of the mountain. Rage builds up inside Captain Falcon, and the ice surrounding him begins to melt. Captain Falcon then breaks out of the ice with a powerful flaming uppercut.

C. Falcon: NANA!!! I'm coming!!

Captain Falcon then proceeds to scale the mountain, in the direction of his loved one's screaming. After a long time scaling the mountain, he eventually reaches the top, where he finds Popo and Nana.

Nana: Captain Falcon! You came for me!
C. Falcon: Of course I did, my love. This evil little bastard deserves a taste of JUSTICE!!!
Popo: Hah! You'll never defeat me!

Captain Falcon then remembers how he broke out of the ice, and gets an idea for a new move.

C. Falcon: Popo, prepare to be the very first victim of my RAPTOR BOOST!!
Popo: Raptor Boost?
C. Falcon: Yes! Raptor Boost!

Captain Falcon then dashes to Popo and performs a flaming uppercut that lights Popo on fire and sends him blasting off into the distance.

Popo: DAMN YOU CAPTAIN FALCOOOOOOOOOOON....*ping*
Nana: My hero!
C. Falcon: That'll show him! ::unties Nana::
Nana: Thank you Captain Falcon! ::kisses C. Falcon on the cheek::
C. Falcon: ::blushes::

Just then, an Arwing lands beside Captain Falcon and Nana. The cockpit opens up, and Peppy steps out.

C. Falcon: Aah!! That's one of the blasted spaceships that blew me up!
Peppy: Now hold on a minute, Captain Falcon! I'm here to help you.
C. Falcon: Huh? Why should I believe you?
Peppy: It was my idiotic partner Slippy that shot you. He didn't realize that you were the great hero Captain Falcon!
C. Falcon: What?! How could he have not recognized me?!
Peppy: He's stupid like that. Come with me back to the Great Fox! We can help you find your friend.
C. Falcon: Captain Kirby! I forgot all about him!
Peppy: So, will you come with us?
C. Falcon: Can I kick Slippy's ass?
Peppy: Please do.
C. Falcon: Well then, count me in!
Peppy: Great!

Nana, sad at hearing that Captain Falcon was going to be leaving, slowly turned around and started to walk away. Captain Falcon hears her leaving, and turns around to look at her. He then looks back at Peppy.

C. Falcon: Can Nana come too? She's a great girl, and I'd hate to leave her.
Nana: You....want me to come?
C. Falcon: Of course.
Peppy: Well.........okay, you can bring Nana.
C. Falcon: WOO!! C'mon Nana! We're going to outer space!
Nana: Yay!! ::leaps up and hugs C. Falcon::
Peppy: C'mon, you two! We have no time to spare. The two of you can get into the trunk of the Arwing.
C. Falcon: It has a trunk?
Peppy: Sure. I just added it on, before I left, so there would be room to safely carry you back with us.
C. Falcon: Okay, cool!

And so, Captain Falcon, Nana, and Peppy get into the Arwing, and blast back into outer space, toward the Great Fox. Will they ever find Captain Kirby? Will Slippy get the ass-beating he deserves? Who framed Roger Rabbit? Who shot J.R.? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Whose Cuisine Reigns Supreme? Find out the answers to some of these questions on the next episode!

To be continued