Character Profiles
Gill - Either the laziest person in the world, or actually God. We're not quite sure. Gill technically runs the Illuminati, but we think his secretary, Kolin, actually does all the work.
Urien - Either the angriest person in the world, or actually...Well, no. Urien's actually the angriest man alive. Mostly at his brother, Gill, who is older, faster, stronger, smarter, more handsome, and is overall better at life.
Ibuki - A kind teenage girl who is going to ninja school. Ibuki loves going out to eat, particularly if ice cream is involved. Ibuki has a large collection of thongs, and will never hesitate to let you know about them, if they come up in conversation. She has a pet tanooki named Don.
Makoto - OH MY GOD, MAKOTO IS REALLY LOUD!!! SHE WON'T STOP YELLING AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL SHE'S BEING SO NOISY FOR!!! MAKOTO THINKS THAT SHE'S FRIENDS WITH IBUKI, BUT IBUKI REALLY WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS LOUD MOUTH!
Alex - Wants to be a professional wrestler, when he grows up. Unfortunately, nobody told Alex that he's 33, and he "grew up" a long time ago. They also forgot to tell him that wrestling is fake.
Hugo - A disgruntled former professional wrestler who left the Capcom Wrestling Association on bad terms. Greatly admired by Alex, Hugo knows all the secrets of the trade of professional wrestling. However, they may not be what Alex wants to hear...
Poison - A transgender who has yet to completely let go of her manhood. Unfortunately for the guys in the neighborhood, she's not usually forthcoming with that "little bit" of information until it's too late to turn back...
Sean Matsuda - You know that annoying kid who just wanted to be your friend, but he never left you the hell alone? Yeah. That's Sean. Sean often smells like monkey poo, as his pet chimp, Terry, isn't potty trained. Sadly, he still smells better than Ryu. Sean also likes basketball.
Ken Masters - Ryu's best friend, who does not smell and actually bathes once in a while. He also has a home, complete with wife and child. Ken also enjoys boating, when he's not busy geting paid to beat the shit out of people in tournaments. Rumors abound that Ken may, in fact, be addicted to cocaine.
Ryu - A homeless vagrant who loves to fight but hates to shower. People frequently complain that he stinks. Despite the fact that he's always asking people for money, Ryu lives and encourages a drug-free lifestyle. He feels that his body must remain pure to become the best fighter in the world.
More profiles to come, as we write them...